When Everyone Thinks They’re the Main Character

Those who know me will know that running events is one of my favourite things in the world to do. There’s something really satisfying about watching a room fill with people who are excited, nervous, proud, hopeful, curious, the mix of human energies, the buzz that makes an event feel alive. When it works, it’s magic. Proper magic.

Most people turn up with good intentions, follow instructions, arrive on time, take their seats, say please, and thank you, and genuinely respect the moment. These are the people I love, those that I do this for, those who make an event flow, the ones who know it’s not their show, but everyone’s experience.

And then… there are others.

The ones who walk in, acting as if we owe them something. The ones who treat rules as “optional” because they’ve decided their situation is obviously way too special to apply to the rest of the guests, and that no one else is going through tough times.

We had some belters at my most recent event, the last-minute “I need extra tickets,” followed by the dramatic X Factor-worthy sob-story, followed by the insistence that they’re the exception, followed by kicking off when the answer is still no.

And this one really took the biscuit: Someone telling us that their step-mum was the father’s “carer” to try and get around the rules. Did they think we wouldn’t notice? As if we haven’t heard every version of “but my situation is different” a hundred times already.

Here’s the thing I wish I could tell people without sounding rude:

At big events - especially ones with 400+ guests - you are not the only person in the room.

My justice-sensitivity kicks in at this point; if we bend a rule for one person, we’d have to bend it for everyone. If we allow one little thing to fall through, the next ten people will all expect the same. And that’s how chaos starts, not because event managers lose control, but because everyone thinks they’re the exception, and without sounding like a toddler throwing a tantrum - it’s. not. fair!

What people don’t see is those of us behind the scenes; we’ve probably been on our feet for hours, we are trying to keep things moving with a smile, keeping to extremely tight timings, we need to consider all sorts - safeguarding, accessibility, the emergency procedures, hundreds of tiny decisions that keep a massive event feel safe, calm and enjoyable for everyone.

One person demanding extra attention might feel really insignificant in the moment. But multiply that by ten, or even fifty, and you’ve got a venue full of stressed staff and volunteers, who are there to keep the day flowing, not argue with entitled idiots.

This is why I always come back to the same truth:

It’s everyone’s responsibility not to be a dick.

Not because the staff say so. Not because rules exist. But because respecting the boundaries is the right thing to do, it keeps the whole thing running smoothly for everybody, including the people who are trading, performing, celebrating, showing their work, or marking a milestone.

And genuinely, most people get this and are lovely. Most people want the day to be good for everyone, not just for them.

It’s the handful of those who have what I like to call Main Character Syndrome, those who make it hard, not just for us, but for themselves. And yes, I get that some of these people may be neurodiverse or suffering crippling anxiety, but they’ve probably never considered that those of us on the receiving end may be feeling that too. They don’t realise how much better events would feel, for them, for us, for everyone, if they could just take a breath, step back, and remember they’re part of something bigger than their own moment and self-importance.

When we all play our part, the whole thing becomes smoother, kinder, calmer, and far more memorable for all the right reasons.

And that shared experience, that collective energy, is what makes events worth running in the first place.

Having said all this, I may be crazy, but I have decided to run an event in Whitby again over the May-Day Bank Holiday weekend - Witchmarket Whitby - just a market, no associated fluff.

It’s still early stages of planning at the moment, but over the next week or so I will be inviting people to come along and trade, it will be very low fee (or free if you trade with us the weekend before at the Gothic Gathering) and anyone who has any kind of dark arts stall is welcome to apply. I will be curating the space to ensure we have a varied offer, but welcome applications from artists, creatives, readers, potion makers, authors, spellmakers, retreat hosts, wild women (including those of any gender who embrace their feminine energies), maidens, mothers, and crones.

It will be free to enter for the public, with spaces to connect, relax, and stand in your power. I encourage everyone to bring your rituals, your crystals, your magic - your good energy and healing vibes.

Plus May 1st will be the Full Moon - so we will have the Moon Magic Market on the Friday, maybe even a full moon Ceremony on the beach if someone would like to organise that. It’s our event witches, let’s do this together!

Drop me an email at raymcguin@hotmail.co.uk if you’d like to be involved in any way, and I’ll be in touch soon!